making the first incision

now for the stories
this is the live i live
i will never be satisfied with the negative
but its cards we get, maybe positive
lay them, play them, if you say your in
but i dont mean quickly
savour it
cuz they flavoured it
so why waste it
i've got a bet and a turn
and i can't wager nil
so i go greater still
and put you on the line
like phone operators will
and a firing squad's kill

no regrets is what they say
but i've mad mistake
much more than once
trying ain't enough
cuz i've tried and tried and it seems too tough
what am I talking about?
im talking about doing stuff
is it too vague for you?
conversational fluff?
comprehension's rough...

this next one will look like a puff
ride with me while i make my point
i feel so weak that i don't smoke
but i couldn't resist a joint
if it were offered
and i couldn't say no to tramp
even if i tried to act proper
and my fake energy isn't worth and amp
so how the hell can i get righteous and try to stop her
when i hardly believe
yes i hardly believe
its so hard to believe that even a kid like me
would be doubting these things
my appearance is clean
but my essence is dirt
if i don't clean up now it'll eventually hurt
i don't accept the negative
shit's worse than dirt
decent living i try to insert
into myself
perfection i try to assert
and poor behavior i try to revert
with much more than lame apologies
but repentant doxologies that i mean this time
and i mean this rhyme
what ever means this rhyme
or what ever it means this time
it could be this time
or it could be last night
or every night for that matter
which displays my blight
and it could be the future if i don't stand up and fight
hand me the syringe and suture
this incision will have some bite
and grab me some coffee will you
open soul surgery could last my whole life.