bleek.

The dream is fading away
every day its fading away
I'm not who I want to be
but my acting could
impress the academy

It doesn't feel right
when I lie to myself.
Cuz I feel like an idiot for believing it.
I made it up myself.
I should know the truth.
But not when it hurts too much to tell you.

I started admitting in my head
which makes it more hurtful
when I do it again
Who do I blame?
God why did you make me this way?
"Son if I had you might be doing this when you're eight"
But I'm not, Im doing it now
Can't stop, doing it how
do I escape from the
sinking sand of my flawed human nature?
How do I continually feed my ego by saying "I go it"
when I don't?
I don't want to ask for help.
That would be admitting weakness.
Which is ironic, because the whole point of this
is that I'm weak. I need to seek...
improvement.
get better every day. smile more than before.
but if I sell myself to mine enemy?
I become a prisoner of war...
and the smiles don't match whats in me...
because selling myself for anything below the height of heaven,
is selling myself short
and doing that makes me a little whore.